My 'heavily edited' Fast & Furious Review...

I don't often agree with how my managing editor edits my works, but what else can I do? More often than not, my work gets butchered down to make it more 'web-friendly' by keeping things short and sweet.

That's bullshit, I say.

If a reader finds your work interesting, they'll still read it irregardless of its length. I know I do.

And so, just in case you're interested to read my full, unsanitized review, here it is.

*****

Whoever said that movie sequels aren’t as good the original hasn’t seen Fast & Furious, the latest installment to The Fast & The Furious movie franchise.

Fast & Furious is an interquel that’s set between 2 Fast 2 Furious and The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift so it picks up right after Brian O’ Connor (Paul Walker) gets back into the good graces of the FBI after catching a South American drug lord while Dominic “Dom” Toretto (Vin Diesel) is still on the run from the authorities - both local and foreign - while he’s still at it with Letty Ortiz (Michelle Rodriguez), this time hijacking fuel tanks in the Dominican Republic. But with the authorities getting hot on his trail, Dom decides it’s better if he leaves Letty for her own good since, in his own words, “it’s me they want.”

Soon after that, Dom gets the word from his sister, Mia Toretto (Jordana Brewster), that Letty was killed in America, making him take the risk of crossing the border to find out who was responsible. Using his rage and his bulging biceps, Dom finds out that Letty was working as a drug courier for Arturo Braga, a drug lord who uses street racers to smuggle heroin across the US-Mexican border. Eventually, Dom bumps into O’ Connor who, as an FBI agent, is also on the trail of Braga as they both try to secure a spot on Braga’s smuggling ring by going through a street race with other racers through Braga’s right-hand man, Ramon Campos. In the process, Dom also finds out that Letty was killed by a member of Braga’s smuggling ring, someone who drives a nitromethane-boosted ’72 Ford Grand Torino, and that she went back to America and worked undercover with O’ Connor after striking a deal that, if they caught Braga, Dom’s name would be cleared of all charges against him.

The tagline ‘New Model, Original Parts’ fits the movie to a tee since it’s a brand new movie with the original cast that started the ball rolling on the franchise. That’s what also makes the movie very watchable because, if you’re familiar with the franchise, it’s akin to watching old friends coming together again. There’s the familiarity with each other that makes it worth watching since each character’s background story has been fleshed out in the previous installments; there’s no more of the getting-to-know-you feeling. 

As for the cars, Fast & Furious is more about American Muscle than Japanese Tech since, compared to the other movies in the franchise, this installment has more American muscle cars. Besides Dom’s resurrected Dodge Charger from the first movie, there’s also his Chevy Chevelle (which appears in Tokyo Drift, I think), the aforementioned Grand Torino, and the Buick Grand National GNX in the movie’s opening scene. Still, as a nod to the rice racers that the first movie was all about, among the many Japanese cars in the movie, what stands out are Nissan’s legendary R34 Skyline GT-R and a current-model Subaru Impreza WRX STI that gets totaled in the end, both of which served as O’Connor’s rides in the movie. And of course, not to be forgotten too, are European sports cars like a souped-up BMW M5, a Ford RS200 (that went head-to-head with a Toyota Corolla AE86!) and a Porsche Turbo.

Although the old characters were good to see being back to their old selves, the new ones were a hit-and-miss affair. John Ortiz’ Ramon Campos was close to John Ortiz’ Jose Yero in Michael Mann’s Miami Vice, so that could either be a good thing or a bad thing to say based on Ortiz’ acting talent. Yes, he can definitely play a Latin American drug ring's top honcho, but the sad fact that he played two characters in two different movies so similarly says little about his range. Gal Gadot’s Gisele Harabo is one hot tamale as she tried to seduce Dom time and time again. And yes, she’s damn pretty and damn sexy but that’s all there is to her. She was just eye candy in a film full of eye candies, both mechanical and biological. And honestly, I think Michelle Rodriguez has more sex appeal than her.  But that doesn't mean I won't tap that ass if it presented itself to me because I definitely would.

Sung Kang’s Han also provided a good lead into …Tokyo Drift, saying how he’s thinking of going back to Tokyo after Dom decided to break up their Dominican Republic gang, thereby setting up how he became who he was in …Tokyo Drift. If only Tyrese Gibson’s Roman Pearce from …2 Furious also made a brief appearance in this installment, everything would’ve come full circle perfectly.

All in all, if you’re a true gearhead, the sheer number of cars present in the movie would satisfy you. And if you loved the other movies in the franchise, you’ll definitely love this one since it offers more of everything really. But if you’re coming into the theater blind with no idea what the other movies were all about, prepare to be disappointed since the experience is almost like watching a movie that’s already half-finished since you’ve pretty much missed the lead-in that set up this particular movie.

So for this Underachiever of a car nut, Fast & Furious is one fast and furious achievement.